Freedom. Official freedom. More than just a moment or a second. A whole day. A week. Months. Until February, at least. Then the stress will begin again. But it will be a different kind of stress. A new kind. A touch of the unknown. Still fearful? Most probably.
But it’s just the next chapter not a different book.
The story of my life.
Or my summer, at least.
I won’t lie. I haven’t done this before. Writing a blog, that is. Again, it’s frightening and a little exhilarating. To put something out there, into the great abyss – the unknown. Is someone reading this? I don’t know. And it doesn’t really matter to me either way. You see, in here, I’m anonymous – no one knows who I am and, in return, I know nothing about you.
I guess, you could say that I am taking the easy way out. Writing this blog behind the cloak of anonymity – because if it fails, if I don’t like it, if you don’t like it…I can just disappear. Hit delete. Forget. Nothing will hang over me like a dark cloud, reminding me that I failed, that I quit. Because if I choose to, I can decide that I never wrote this. Someone else. Not me. I can move on and no one would be the wiser; not my friends, my parents, only me. And, like the proverbial tree in the woods, if it is not said aloud – if there is no proof, then it doesn’t exist. Never existed.
Well, that was unexpected. Getting so intense, so early on. I hadn’t planned on that. I thought I’d go a few weeks easing into it. Dip my toes in until, eventually, my whole body was immersed. But it seems that someone crept up behind me and shoved me in, no warning, no big gulp of air, just water.
Don’t worry, though. I’m a lot of things and adaptable is definitely one of them. So, I’ll just float for a while…
You know, before you hit that ‘X’ button and completely write me off as some random who is just desperate for attention, do me a favour and finish reading. Don’t judge, just read. Then when you’ve read it, you can have your opinions. If it has changed, then I’m glad. If it hasn’t, then goodbye.
Honestly, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. I began this blog, thinking it would be a good way to pass the summer. At first, I assumed that everyone who had a blog must have something interesting to say. About their exciting lives and experiences. And then, I realised that if someone had an amazing life then why would they take time away from their oh-so-incredible adventures to write a blog? To share it with the world? Maybe…but I must admit, if you really think about it, it seems doubtful. Maybe a minority would, but not the majority.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that, if you’re looking for a blog that’ll leave you in amazement at all the things I’ve done in my life – leave you just a little bit envious, then please, move on. This is not what you are looking for. Instead, I’m just an ordinary girl, just like any other girl, whose here to write about everything and anything. The sky’s the limit. Whatever comes to my mind. My own, online, stream of consciousness. But I won’t lie. I won’t make up extravagant adventures – but I will write. And maybe, just maybe, you might be able to relate. Because let’s face it, the truth is, most people’s lives aren’t that extraordinary…there just ordinary. So, no, writing a blog isn’t for the minority. It’s a way for the majority to read a blog – my blog – and say; ‘Story of my life.’