I’ve been thinking…what do I want? But the truth is I don’t really know. I have lists…well, I make lists – whether I follow them or not is usually optional. I sometimes feel like I need things – in the moment. Even for the future moment. I need to find another job, I need to seriously think about what I’m going to do with my life, I need to get a life.
And you want to know what the kicker is? As soon as I stop thinking about these things, stop obsessing and over thinking, I will get all of these things. I know this. But I’m a worrier – it’s what I do. I can’t help it. I worry, I stress, and what the hell for?
I can always find another job, my life will happen as it happens – I don’t need to plan every detail, and my social life (or lack thereof) will flourish as it wants.
Let me explain a little here. My contract is about to finish and my manager isn’t planning on keeping me on anymore. I’m at a point in my life where my future feels imminent and fast approaching. And, it’s not a social life that I crave so much as history. I want someone to know what I’m thinking just by looking at me. I envy that type of friendship.